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    Twitter While it is true that some people successfully find good, lasting relationships on online dating sites, it is also true that many end up frustrated and disappointed.

    Also, a lot of men use very old pics. Sorry, but any picture older than years is irrelevant. Not that people are dishonest when they use an online dating site but there's a disconnect -- what they say doesn't really match what they truly want.

    Kang Zhao, assistant professor of management sciences in UI's College of Business, and UI doctoral student Xi Wang are part of a team that has developed an algorithm for dating sites that uses a person's contact history to recommend partners with whom they may be more romantically compatible.

    Netflix model It's similar to the model Netflix uses to recommend movies users might like by tracking their viewing history. Dating sites are taking notice. Zhao says he's had preliminary discussions with two dating services who have expressed interest in learning more about the model. Since it doesn't rely on profile information, Zhao says it can also be used by other online services that match people, such as a job recruiting or college admissions.

    The system was developed with the help of a popular commercial online dating company whose identity is being kept confidential. The research team looked atinitial contacts involving 47, users in two U. Of the users, 28, were men and 19, were women, and men made 80 percent of the initial contacts. To improve that results, Zhao's team developed a model combining two factors to recommend contacts: Better predictor Zhao believes those two factors, taste and attractiveness, do a better job of predicting successful connections than relying on information that clients enter into their profile, because what people put in their profile may not always be what they're really interested in.

    And from Rochelle's observation, they could also be intentionally misleading. Zhao goes a step further, suggesting the average user of an online dating site might not really know themselves well enough to know their own tastes in the opposite sex. A man who says on his profile that he likes tall women may in fact be approaching mostly short women, even though the dating website will continue to recommend tall women.

    Another way of saying, actions speak louder than words. Zhao says that eventually, the algorithm will notice that while a client says he likes tall women, he keeps asking out short women, and will change its recommendations to start suggesting that he contact short women. If it works for movies, it should work for dates, Zhao says. While it is true that some people successfully find good, lasting relationships on online dating sites, it is also true that many end up frustrated and disappointed.

    And an increasing amount of people turn to online dating websites for help in finding their perfect match. The Federal Trade Commission warns Americans to tread carefully when entering the sometimes-murky waters of online dating, where the promise of love dupes many people into opening their wallets or giving access to bank accounts or credit cards.

    The FTC lays out a typical scenario: The scam artist creates a fake profile, gains the trust of an online love interest, and then asks that person to wire money -- usually to a location outside the United States. The warning signs you may be dealing with a scammer: Wanting to leave the dating site immediately and use personal e-mail or IM accounts. Claiming instant feelings of love. Claiming to be from the United States but currently overseas. Planning to visit, but being unable to do so because of a tragic event.

    Asking for money to pay for travel, visas or other travel documents, medication, a child or other relative's hospital bills, recovery from a temporary financial setback, or expenses while a big business deal comes through. Making multiple requests for more money. When he started calling her and asking for money, Weston knew something was up.

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    After some quick investigating, Weston discovered the man was calling from Nigeria, not the U. She cut off communication with him. Unfortunately, some dating site users don't realize they're being scammed until it's too late. After two weeks in Nigeria, he called me for money and said he couldn't cash his checks there. I told him to go to an international bank and stop calling me.

    Scammers will oftentimes ask for money to be wired to them via Western Union or Moneygram. The FTC warns consumers that wiring money to someone they haven't met is the same as sending cash. Once it's gone, it can't be recovered. OnGuardOnline provides practical tips from the federal government and the technology industry to help you be on guard against Internet fraud, secure your computer, and protect your personal information.

    As Christmas turns into New Year's and then Valentine's Day, many single people's thoughts turn to finding love. The Federal Trade Commission warn
    How to Write the First Message or Email How important is it to write a good online dating first email? As I discuss in my free online dating guidesuccessful online dating relies in part on making great first impressions.

    Whether the first impression is in the photos you select for your profile, how you describe yourself, or the first email you write, taking time to make the best first impression is important. For this discussion email refers to your first message in online dating.

    This will include whatever method the service you are using allows you to write a message to another member. It is also worth noting that most often discuss this from the point of view of a man contacting a woman, since that was my experience, but my hope is that the thoughts here are helpful to anyone.

    This discussion is primarily for sites such as Match. This advice may still be helpful for sites such as eHarmony or Chemistry. Writing the online dating first email is the area where I made the biggest mistakes for the longest period of time when I was dating online.

    I would write overly long and, in my head, witty emails that very rarely received responses.

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    I thought I was making conversation but all I was making was a girl scared. I really did mean well. Writing a Better First Email My rule here is very simple: Give anything longer than three sentences a good, hard look before sending. Your profile is what you use to sell yourself, not your first email. While I feel that your profile should be a constant battle between brevity and substance, it should definitely hold enough for someone to make a decision about communicating with you.

    The email should be the bait to get someone to view your profile. You have to keep your weird factor low. Never forget that you are working against the bad impressions created by every weird person who has come before you or even the good intentioned people who just come off odd like I used to! Short emails can come off as confident. With online dating, the first message can make or break your chances of a successful first date. Based on my experience, I think the above are good guidelines to improve your odds of getting the conversation going.

    So what do you include in this short, introductory email? First, try to include something in your first email to prove you read their profile. Many guys out there spam the same email to every girl they find attractive; most girls catch on to this and then look for it in other emails. Second, if you find something in a profile that you have in common or there is something you like about the profile, mention that area in your email if there are multiple things you really like, just mention one.

    Often this question can be about a common interest you mention but any question is better than none. A large majority of emails sent are titled this way and if you contact a woman who received 15 email contacts since the last time she logged on, your email is going to get lost in the mix.

    Sure, she might review it and respond but why not try to stand out even before she opens your email? For example, I enjoy an occasional day walking around a big city. Saying that I love walking through the city is a stretch but I would want to add some strength to my statement. Most emotion is lost in online communication and anyone who has used a: To avoid this, I would try to show my true level of interest by exaggerating it.

    Even though sometimes I felt like I was going over the top, I still saw a lot of success going with this type of emphasis. Example Online Dating First Emails Giving advice on writing a better first message in online dating is good, but I think examples make it better.

    The next two are special cases where asking the girl out occurs in the first email. In my experience with online dating, first messages where I asked the girl out were uncommon for me but I felt that in both the second and third first email example, it was the best option based off of the profile. These are just examples and ideas on writing a first email and you should go with what your comfortable with.

    I am a XX year old looking for a nice guy to get to know and have a wonderful time together. I am a very outgoing person and enjoy all types of activities. I work full-time as a real estate agent. I am very sociable and enjoy being around people. If you would like to get to know me, just send me a message. This young lady devoted half of her profile to talking, in some fashion, about being social. This seems like one of the better points of focus when writing the email: Just sending that message!

    I love being sociable too and liked what I was seeing in your profile. Have you ever gone swing dancing? My approach here is to be positive but brief. The goal here is to get her interest, have her look at my profile and if she likes what she sees, move forward.

    I am crazy, unique and creative. Everyday boring life turns into an adventure along with me! Born and raised in the [a city] looking for someone to curl up watch a movie with or football or just hang out. A little facial hair is a plus and someone with an awesome personality is key!

    Hope to hear from you soon. The important parts again are: Mirror, Mirror dna evitaerc…gab dnuop evif a ni nuf fo sdnuop net ekil dnuos uoY. Maybe yes, maybe no. Even in the case where she decides it is horribly corny, she might appreciate the unique quality it had. I also ask her out in the first email because: I am XX years old I love living life to its fullest.

    I travel every chance I can and love being around those I share things in common with. This is an example of how sometimes profiles are too short and give you no clues to who the person is. With this type of profile, I always felt like simply asking them out on safe date in the first email is fine.

    Most profiles should have much more information for you to work with but you can apply the exact same ideas: Keep your emails short and positive Also, regardless what any book or person tells you including this guyyou need to be making decisions for yourself. I spent too much time blindly follow good-intentioned advice and not thinking for myself early on when dating online. For example, in the Profile 3, creating an invitation to have a drink that looked like a travel itinerary might work well if she had mentioned enjoying creativity or if her profile was very creative.

    I hope my advice here is helpful for you however I also realize success is also often easier said than done. My advice in this article is based mostly on sites like Match. If you continue to struggle writing your first emails or struggle with getting responses with a service like this, trying a service like eHarmony might be helpful. Because communication is controlled, making mistakes like writing a 5 page first email!

    However, while I met my wife using Match. You can learn more details on my thoughts on this service in my article on How eHarmony Works. No matter what service you choose, I hope my advice here will help you with your first messages. Online dating can be unforgiving and for many of us it is easy to make mistakes without even realizing it.

    I hope the steps included here are helpful for you in avoiding problems in this area!
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