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    And what about those who fall into the category of a certain age — over 40? What she learned will come as no surprise: Our desire to couple up is a reality that transcends age, race, ethnicity, education, gender and income level.

    And, Pollar found, there is a magic number of years beyond which meeting people becomes more of a challenge.

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    That number is She learned that many men and women older than 40 were resistant to Internet dating, citing professional sensitivity, privacy issues or just plain discomfort with the concept. Several women brought up safety as a concern. Pollar then did something else pretty interesting. She interviewed all the people she could find who had been married or living together for 20 years or longer.

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    She asked them just one question: And people make an incredible number of assumptions. Must be a nut case. Then you are grouped by age and gender and commit to meet — on three consecutive weekends — to perform one of a range of volunteer activities. He met most people through Craigslist. We also send along a host, to make sure things run smoothly. Nobody in the group is a stranger anymore. Flights are interspersed with one-off fun activities.

    That was a lot of fun. That they come in with a larger group means we can tackle larger projects.


    Some even came back independently later. The first group worked mainly on the library, with books and archival material. That was a good way for them to get to collaborate and to know one another. In the past Garcia had tried the online services eHarmony and match. She also belonged to Table for Six for several months. It meant spending a lot of time online, and I do that enough. I enjoyed Table for Six initially and dated someone I met there for about six months.

    And I like that part of it is about giving back to the community.

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    Shawn Anderson, 49, who has been divorced for five years, signed up for a Matches That Matter focus group out of curiosity. Lack of assertiveness and follow through. It was easy to have a conversation with everyone I met.

    The last flight I did, we all exchanged phone numbers at the end. But online dating is a real crapshoot. I know Matches That Matter does a lot more serious screening.

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    The others pretty much take people at their word and what they say is not always accurate. She went kayaking by moonlight in Sausalito followed by dinner. She went to learn about beer making in Oakland. I also enjoyed that too. We have long commutes. Look at your average coffee shop. Loneliness and isolation are a national problem. She hopes to grow to include such groups later.

    Right now her challenge is to have equal numbers of men and women participating. Does Matches That Matter offer interaction advice, like whether to have sex on the first date?


    Pollar will do her best to find you a match. The rest is up to Cupid, chemistry and you.

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    Find out more or join Matches That Matter online at www.

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